Lessons for the Future - Nievelion (2024)

Chapter Text

n the early morning light spilling in through the bamboo shades of his bedroom window, Tai Lung reached the bottom of the page he was reading and paused to look up—contentedly, yet also furtively. He was, of course, still quite alone in his room, and enjoying it immensely. For while his score of years incarcerated in Chorh-Gom had left him disturbed by silence and with an almost habitual disquiet—he would not call it terror, whether reasonable or not—at being isolated and abandoned, there was still something to be said for having private time to yourself. Especially with how otherwise noisy, crowded, overwhelmed, and complicated his life had become.

Not that he didn't appreciate and love his wife and children, his adopted father, and his brother warrior Po, or that he didn't have fond feelings for Viper, Crane, Jia, and Mei Ling (when she was in the Valley)—even Mantis and Monkey could be endured most of the time and had their good points. But sometimes the joking and ribbing, the endless pranks, the constant stream of visitors to the Jade Palace, the rousing cries and pounding blows of kung fu training including from all the new students, and especially the wild and rambunctious nature of his cubs could become…a little too much to bear.

Or to put it another way, it used to be just myself, Shifu and Oogway, with the occasional messenger or visitor. Now I'm exhausted just counting everyone, let alone keeping up with them all!

So that was why, today, for a few hours at least, he had arranged for some peace and quiet. Shifu was in charge of the Jade Palace and the training classes for the nonce, while Po was assisting his father at the noodle restaurant. Tigress was overseeing the Five's activities in the kwoon, as well as watching Hu and Huo—who were surely in turn watching the dizzying array of punches, kicks, leaps, and somersaults performed by the warriors with the kind of awe, excitement, and inspired imitation that only children…especially those with the kind of kung fu heritage in their blood as they had…could embrace. With everyone out of the way, the snow leopard was neatly tucked into the warm sheets of his bed, a plate of honey-glazed almonds and dates and a still steaming pot of oolong within easy reach.

The perfect companions this cool spring day, while he curled up with…a romance novel.

He lidded his eyes briefly. Yes, the former scourge of the Valley, feared and hated throughout the empire, the hero who had fallen from grace to become a vicious monster, had, very much against his will, adopted the guiltiest and most unbelievable of pleasures.

It had all started, of course, back during Heian Chao's siege, before Vachir's message had been delivered, when Tai Lung had been religiously following Viper's advice on how to woo and impress Tigress. The serpent had pointed out, reasonably and much to his chagrin, that even though the leader of the Five was nothing like the women in her favorite stories, her novel collection did contain a wide range of ideas for romancing and charming the fairer sex—and just as importantly, provided many object lessons and examples on how women should be treated with decency, honor, and respect.

At least, that had been her excuse; personally, after coming to know Tigress, Mei Ling, and even Jia, the spotted feline had rather quickly seen that however much his heart ached to keep his beloved safe from harm, and how seemingly laudable such an attitude was on the surface, there was nothing truly admirable or worthy of imitation in the sort of fawning overprotectiveness and patronizing gallantry to be found in these books. Tigress was hardly a delicate heirloom in danger of breaking, nor did she need anyone coming to her defense and robbing her of the chance to protect herself.

Still…he'd had to admit that there was nothing wrong with letting the target of his affections know he would be there to rescue her, if she needed and asked for it, just as he would allow her or Po—grudgingly—to come to his aid if he were in dire straits, and with gratitude. And these stories did nevertheless provide a wealth of examples on how to convince a woman you were sincere in your pursuit of her, words and gestures and deeds that could show true devotion and passion, things which he'd sorely needed to learn since he hadn't had a romantic bone in his body.

Naturally, once events had outpaced him and there'd been much more pressing matters to consider—yes, what a bloody marvelous understatement there, calling fighting zombies, being put on trial and nearly executed, and almost losing your life multiple times something like that—he'd set the novels aside. But after the defeat of Chao and his wedding, after life had settled into a semblance of normal routine at the palace, Tai Lung had found his paws creeping back to them. Partly because of Viper's insistence that although he had won Tigress, romancing her and making her love him all over again would be a lifelong pursuit he could never become complacent about.

Mostly though it was because he'd discovered, to his annoyance and even a touch of despair, that he was beginning to like them. Corny and sappy as most of them were, he couldn't deny that a number of them contained surprisingly exciting adventures, genuine love matches…and yes, even certain arousing scenes that managed to be successful. Which in turn made him wonder, idly, if anyone might ever write the tale of how he and Tigress, and later Po and Jia, had become couples—because if he did say so himself, those would make a fine pair of damned good romance novels.

If written by an author with actual talent, of course. He shuddered as he recalled that scroll he and the others had found at that book stall in Shaanxi which had depicted the combat between Tai Lung and the Furious Five, as well as his later battle with the Dragon Warrior. Whoever paid that person to write that was truly robbed.

He further wondered if perhaps he could ask the Emperor, the next time they met, if he knew of any skillful writers, perhaps in his court. Chen would surely wish their stories told far and wide, and told properly. He even had half a mind to pay someone to write them himself—completely honest and open, as the snow leopard's flaws and shames needed to be aired as examples of paths to avoid, but otherwise suitably couched and embellished here and there...

Taking a sip of tea, as much to brace himself for what was to come as to moisten a conspicuously dry throat, he turned the page at last and began to read again. The tale was a particularly melodramatic one, of course: a nobleman by the name of Fa Dewei, a snow leopard with great wealth and influence both political and military in Yunnan province, was highly respected and honored throughout the region. But behind his façade of suave, amiable generosity, the man was utterly depraved, lecherous, and cruel.

He had set his disgusting, wicked sights on one of his innocent maids, a soft-spoken and sweet-tempered snow leopardess named Li-Mei. Unbeknownst to him, however, she already had a lover, one who was far more chivalrous, honorable, and fiercely devoted than he could ever be, one who was willing to stand up to the noble for the sake of the maid's virtue as well as the people of the province—his own warrior son, Cong-Min.

And as the two lovers plotted their escape and victory, then spent as many fleeting and romantic moments together as they could, Tai Lung found himself reading their words aloud, even using different voices as he had when reading The Romance of the Three Kingdoms to Tigress…

"Come with me," Cong-Min whispered insistently, desperately. His eyes were like windows onto a tempestuous sea, churning gray storm clouds and endless deep blue waters that threatened to rise up, battering away his father's evil rule and despicable seduction the way a typhoon would upon the Yellow Sea. "Let us flee, leave this place, far beyond his reach! My men are loyal to me, not my father, they will never pursue us. We can begin again elsewhere—get married, start a family…"

"No!" Li-Mei turned away from him, fighting back the limpid tears that welled up like perfectly pristine pearls at the corners of her imploring eyes. "Whatever he is, whatever he has done…he has been good to my family, given them much honor by courting me, comforts and riches and security. All of that would be taken away, were I to spurn him and run away. He would leave them poor and destitute, he would take them and torture them—our honor would be ruined!

"And what of the people? If we do not stay, if you do not continue to work against your father, they will have no champion, no hero or support. Everyone in Yunnan will suffer, even die, for the sake of our love." A courage he had never known, a strength he had only suspected was there, suddenly burned in those eyes, thickened that dulcet voice. "It is not worth such a price."

The burly snow leopard felt his love for her flame all the hotter, as if he were the dragon stealing Heaven's Tear from her pure, selfless soul where it resided. He took her in his brawny arms and clasped her close, held her to his sculpted, softly-furred pectorals as if he could draw her within, join her with the warrior's heart that beat only and ever for her. "O my love…is it any wonder that I madly adore you? You are more heroic than a thousand kung fu warriors, more loyal than the Son of Heaven's bodyguards, and you inspire more wisdom and truth than the greatest of sages. Yes…yes, I will stay.

"But then, if we are to be together, and to cease the oppression of the people, we must fight. I must rally my men, plan a daring coup against him…perhaps even engineer a public confession, so that all, commoner and noble alike, will know him for what he truly is and rise up against him!" He cupped her delicate face in his callused paws, brushed his thumbpads against the dark fur that flowed like ink from the meeting of eyes and nose. "And you must be taken to safety…he will not have you…"

"But…but Lord Fa…" She swallowed against the fear that clutched at her throat, her womanly bosom heaving like the snow-capped Himalayas, prepared to divest itself of its wintry shawl to stand bare and defiant before the eyes of the world. Though he knew he should not, he longed to caress those curves, cradle them, bring them to peaked prominence as she never failed to do for him. "He does not know! What will he do, what will your father say, when he learns of this, the utmost betrayal, of household servant and closest kin…?"

He would reassure her, he would tell her that though the tyrant ranted and railed, it would all be to no avail. But first, his male pride would not be denied, their love must be sated, consummated. As he pressed his burgeoning passion against her, he brought her muzzle to his, their love conjoining, her honeyed lips meeting his dewy, opiate ones. And then—

A voice suddenly interrupted him from the doorway. "What he would say is, what in the name of the Jade Emperor are you doing reading such a thing? I thought you were doing so only to get hints on romancing Tigress. That you couldn't stand them. Is there something you're not telling me, son?"

"RRRAWWRRRGGHH! " The book flew out of his paws as they jerked over his head, and he leaped—literally leaped—several feet above his bed. By the time he landed again and had swiftly yanked his covers up to conceal any incriminating evidence, his heart was still racing thunderously…and a vicious, snarling growl resonated in his chest while his visitor finished speaking as though nothing had happened. "Do…you…bloody…mind ? Privacy? Knocking? Surely some of this is sounding familiar?"

It was, of course, Master Shifu—standing in the doorway, ears perked, one eyebrow raised, hands tucked in his sleeves, and looking far too pleased with himself for Tai Lung's liking. The minute he spotted him, the snow leopard couldn't help gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't know how the red panda managed it, even after all these years, but in a very unfair circ*mstance, he was not only able to detect the presence of others no matter how quiet and stealthy they were (those damnable ears of his!), he in turn could invariably appear out of nowhere and catch anyone as if they'd fallen asleep upright, or had their own ears stuffed with wool.

Sometimes it had almost seemed as if he'd vanished from one place and rematerialized somewhere else. Honestly, I try to ignore Shifu. Mentally he envisioned raising his paw and putting it an inch from his face. But he's always right there!

Before he could berate his father further, the Grand Master strode forward and shook his head. From his woeful expression, he seemed almost disappointed. "Of all people, I would never have imagined you would start growing soft."

Instantly, Tai Lung was bristling and defensive, struggling to hold back his ire. "Perhaps, being such a harsh, slave-driving battle-axe, this concept was lost on you, but it's called 'taking a break'! You should try it sometime, it's actually quite healthy and rather invigorating."

Oddly, rather than reacting in kind, Shifu merely raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And just how can lazing about be healthy? I may have been too strict in some of my teachings, and you became too much of a perfectionist as a result, but that doesn't mean I want to see you throw aside all of my lessons." The corner of his mouth twitched briefly. "And I would think you'd wish to avoid gaining a little too much around the middle. Or is that how you planned to be more like the Dragon Warrior?"

The snow leopard's jaw dropped at the audacity of that comparison, and its implications. I am not getting fat! "Well excuse me if this time around I wished to avoid all the broken bones, torn ligaments, and bruised muscles your training gave me! And I meant healthy for my sanity, old man. I have it far more difficult than you ever did!"

Shifu crossed his arms, snorting. "It's going to be like that, is it? I think you are confusing me with Master Oogway. Just because he preferred to spend all his time in meditating on the mysteries of the universe and rarely taking any active role doesn't mean I do."

Gripping the bedsheets in both paws, Tai Lung leaned toward his father, jaw jutting out fiercely. "I have every single duty you ever had, running the palace, training all the students..."

"Any time there is a major threat to the empire, I have to be the one summoned to deal with it..."

"You? All you do is sit on your arse all day, playing mahjong with Ping!" He snorted. "Meanwhile, I've got the whole bloody beginner's class every time there's a festival to cook for, or Po wants to shack up with Jia, or the precious tots decide they want the badass Tai Lung who stopped Heian Chao as their teacher instead of the Dragon Warrior." All right, that last was actually rather heartening, even a mark of pride for him, but when added to all the rest...

"That is not all I do!" the red panda retorted, now leaning forward to shove his whiskered face right into his son's. "In case you had forgotten, I have to deal with the Emperor and his nobles whenever they visit the Valley or demand my presence in the capital, and the Kung Fu Council!"

Tai Lung sneered elegantly. "Which is how often? Anyway, Chen's demands and Ox's temper have nothing on Chuluun."

Vachir's son was a diligent student, respectful of his master, and obedient to the point of awed admiration thanks to the debt he felt he owed the snow leopard for saving his father from the darkness, but that didn't stop the rhino youth from insisting on harder training to make even Tai Lung's mouth go a bit dry. And while his own experiences with controlling inner rage were a godsend in teaching Chuluun how to maintain calm and honor, sometimes he'd had to appeal to Po to defuse a tense session or two.

Someday, he's going to give Thundering Rhino a run for his money. The thought was tinged with pride...and trepidation.

Shifu, meanwhile, had paused with his mouth open, then closed it with a snap. "You have a point. But I do also have to oversee the nearby towns and villages, not just the Valley proper." He narrowed his eyes. "And the palace, and its Master."

"That's a laugh!" And he did laugh, too, sharp and barking. "Sounds to me like you're just making up duties for the Grand Master to do. And why is it, then, that nothing ever gets accomplished around here without me, Tigress, or Po stepping in?"

"What good is it being the Grand Master if I give orders nobody ever obeys?" his father equivocated. Again, where he expected the red panda to be infuriated and offended, he sounded...rather amused.

"Aren't you supposed to be retired, anyway?" Tai Lung asked suspiciously, sitting back to lean against the headboard. Not to mention, after his track record with Tai Lung, Tigress, and the rest of the Five, everyone had agreed the more Shifu stayed out of palace affairs, the better.

"A master's work is never done, my son," Shifu intoned. "Besides, I'm a grandfather now, it's my job to meddle." At least you admit it. "However, if you truly wish me to be less involved, so you have even more to do..." He made as if to leave the room.

"No! " Too swiftly to be avoided, he snagged his father by the back of his robes and dragged him back. He hoped his voice didn't sound too panicked, but was afraid it did. "Certainly not, no need to go as low as that, Father." He cleared his throat, tried to adopt a more conciliatory expression, a more mollified tone. "Ah, my point was, with all those duties, the many students I have to train, and my family, every once in a while I do need some peaceful, relaxing time to myself. But I promise I'll be back to work in good time." He gave a wry, lopsided smirk. "Anyway, d'you really think I could ever be lazy?"

Now Shifu chuckled openly. "Fair enough. And I was only teasing you, son. You know I am very proud of everything you do here...and if it is a bit startling to see you becoming a hopeless, sentimental romantic, it is also quite reassuring for my old heart." He paused and bit his lip. "It means I did not completely fail you, and rob you of the emotions a kung fu warrior needs to truly do good. The kindness, caring, and sympathy that render you a hero, a man, and not merely a weapon or a shield."

Tai Lung felt both his heart and expression soften as he saw the genuine regret and sorrow on the old panda's face, heard the real fondness and love in his voice. It was almost enough to make him embrace his father and forgive him for how he'd barged in and seemingly mocked him for his softer emotions. Almost.

While he struggled with what to say and do instead, Shifu went on. "I do understand. And as for your family, you know very well that I do babysit my darling grandchildren often enough, and I'd be happy to do it even more if it will give you this, er, 'me time' you seek, as Po would put it. I love them as much as I loved you at that age, Tai Lung." He paused again, then shook his head ruefully. "However, believe me when I say, between their strength and how wild and energetic they are, it truly is like dealing with two of you at that age. My tail will likely never be the same. How you get them to behave I shall never know."

In spite of himself, the snow leopard smirked. "Consider that payback for all the years of discipline, spoiling, and neglect." Then he chuckled, low and suggestive, before quickly stifling it.

His father winced visibly. "I deserved that...and what, may I ask, is so funny?" He sounded wary.

"Nothing, nothing at all," he said innocently, then adopted a sardonic tone. "I'll tell you when you're older." If he was feeling generous, anyway; it was far too much wicked fun to watch the panda flail about with the cubs to let him in on his personal secret way of handling them. "I will say this: it's your own fault they run all over you, Shifu. You're forever buying them candy, toys, and other sweets, so they think they can do whatever they want without you scolding or punishing them."

Shifu rose to his full diminutive height. "I'd have you know I didn't plan to buy them any today, nor do I do so every time I visit them. And I thought you complained when I didn't buy you enough?"

"Always the extremes with you, isn't it?" The snow leopard paused, then grinned slowly, cheekily, as a lovely bit of revenge for Shifu's teasing interruption came to him. "Besides...you'd never have time for all this spending and doting and being run ragged, if you had a woman to keep you busy. In fact, other than the one time, I never even saw you date, growing up. Is there something you're not telling me, Father?"

The panda knew exactly which female he was referring to, of course, and he was positive that, as well as the implication of his perpetual bachelorhood, was why he responded with so much offended dignity. "I don't know what you're talking about. Raising you, teaching you, I had no time for such things. But I'll have you know I did have enjoyable times with quite a number of ladies over the years."

Oh, he was going to regret giving him that particular opening. "I mean a full-time girlfriend, Shifu. Not one of the ladies of the red light district." He frowned.

Shifu gasped, an utterly scandalized look on his face, one eye already twitching. "Tai Lung, how dare you suggest—"

"Oh, don't play innocent with me. I was a teenager, but I knew damn well what you were doing. Or did you forget that when I was old enough, you offered me the opportunity to go into town once a year to satisfy my needs?" Warming up to his subject, Tai Lung actually rubbed his paws together a bit gleefully. "Did you think I wouldn't know you'd done the same thing? You may not have gone down to the red light district while I was growing up—that I know of..." He eyed his father dubiously. "...but how else could you have known where to go?"

"One does not have to sample the merchandise to know where it is sold," the panda replied sententiously.

"Yes. And I suppose that also explains all the things you told me to avoid, made me promise not to ask for, and what else you said was allowable and would sate my urges best? Stammering, flushing, twitching—just like now, Father—but you did tell me." Indeed, he hadn't seen Shifu's eye twitch that badly in years. Not since... "What would Lin say, if she knew you'd been to such a place? She'd never believe it. Or else she'd demand to know what all the ladies did, so she could then proceed to do it better."

Shifu flinched, shuffled his robes, and then fluttered his hands at Tai Lung. "Please, Tai Lung! I told you, never mention...that name any more. The past is over and done with. I thought you more than anyone agreed with that. Including regarding...her." Now his ears were twitching too.

The spotted feline had to agree, albeit a bit reluctantly. Considering everything, especially his own long-ago relationship with the canine cook, it probably was best not to dredge up such old, painful memories for both of them. But he wasn't ready to let Shifu off the hook entirely (and he knew Lin wouldn't have been either), so he returned to his original point. "Fine, but surely she wasn't the only woman to catch your eye."

"I am far too busy in my position to..."

"I am the Master of the Jade Palace, and I'm married and have children. Don't give me the 'too busy' excuse." Fine, so he'd wedded Tigress and been given his new title at almost the same time, after several months of romance, but considering those had also been months when he'd been rather busy doing other highly stressful, kung fu-related activities, the point was still valid. "And I notice when it's you under discussion, suddenly one with all my duties isn't lazy any more."

Shifu ignored that to add another weak protest. "And all the fine women are already taken, or are just passing by the Valley with no intentions of staying."

"Shifu, at this point, even a one night stand would do you a world of good." He cast about for a final straw, the last bit of vengeance he could think of, and then smiled predatorially. "Besides, I know just who'd be perfect for you—Qiao Jian."

For several extremely tense moments the bedroom remained utterly silent and still. Then... "Are you out of your mind, Tai Lung? Me...and her...together?"

"I don't know," the snow leopard drawled casually. "Sounds like a match made in Ti'en to me."

His father stared at him, horrified. "You actually think I'd want to risk crossing even more lines, run afoul of even more taboos? As if having my son and daughter marry wasn't bad enough, now I'm to romance your mother?"

Tai Lung hooded his eyes in disgust and scorn. "Please. You know very well we aren't really related, to each other or you. And if you and Jian did hit it off, that would only make you more my father, not hers. Besides..." He grinned naughtily. "It's best to keep it all in the family, don't you think?"

The red panda let out a strangled cry and began nervously, frantically pacing about the room, paws clasped behind his back—tightly, so as to prevent their shaking, he presumed. As he spoke, it seemed to be more to himself than to the feline. "But that is just it...we have not, nor will we ever, 'hit it off', as you put it. She is...formidable. She has her own mind, her own conception of how things should be done, how your life should go, and she will hear nothing to the contrary, especially from me."

He laughed softly. "Oh yes, a woman who speaks her mind. That's such a terrible thing, is it?"

"You would not say that if you had experienced it firsthand."

"Did you forget who you're talking to, old man? I experience it every day. And it's actually rather refreshing. A damned sight better than a demure little housewife who always does what she's told and bows to your every whim!" He'd once thought that was what he wanted, that that was the way a wife should be, especially if she was the wife of the great Tai Lung—a belief he'd partly come to out of his own sense of superiority, partly due to Shifu's example.

But he'd had that beaten out of him fairly quickly (literally, in some instances) simply by being around Tigress, let alone learning the ways of romance from Viper or courting the striped feline. And now he wouldn't have it any other way. He didn't want a subservient woman, he wanted one who would stand up to him, tell him when he was wrong, be strong enough not only to equal him, to survive without him and be able to protect herself, but who more often than not actually surpassed him. Granted, there were times he'd wanted to roar her down or beat his own head in—even now, such desires still cropped up on occasion—but in the end, her independence made him love her more. He was so very proud of her.

Shifu, of course, didn't see it that way at the moment. "And did you forget I had more than enough of such a stubborn, arrogant, overconfident, deliberately perverse attitude from that...that cook?" From the way he said 'perverse' he clearly meant it in every sense of the word. "Why would I want to subject myself to more of that from Jian?"

"I don't know," Tai Lung said musingly. "Who does that sound like around here? For the life of me I can't think of anyone at all similar to that—oh wait, now I remember. As I said, Father, a perfect match."

For that he received a frosty glare. "I rather thought that sounded more like you, son."

"The peach doesn't fall far from the tree," he replied coolly.

They stared at each other for several quiet moments. Then Shifu sighed and looked away. "Fine. But even so, I see no reason why I should do such a thing—certainly not without the lady's consent, and not on your suggestion alone."

In spite of himself, Tai Lung couldn't help but hold both paws out imploringly. "But if you don't...she'll keep seeing Ning Guo. You can't leave me with him as a stepfather. That's worse than Chorh-Gom!"

Shifu chuckled openly, and didn't stop smirking even when the snow leopard glared at him. "Your mother doesn't even live in the Valley, she only visits on occasion. You're worrying too much."

"But she returned so late! And that was just their first date!" Now he was getting desperate.

"If you're so worried," the red panda said with infinite patience—Tai Lung was certain only because the focus had moved off of his own love life, "why don't you go and ask him what his intentions are with Jian?"

"Oh, that'll go over well," the spotted feline snapped with bitter sarcasm. "And what if said intentions involve far too many personal and private details? You know he'd share far too many of them."

"Perhaps so. But as I just recalled, my original reason for coming here, before I discovered what was keeping you occupied, was to tell you that Tigress wishes you to go shopping in the village for her, and to take the twins with you." He smiled, seemingly at his own cleverness. "Which means you'll have the perfect chance to ask Ning Guo."

"Fine." Now Tai Lung was the one to speak flatly. "I'll tell him to put in a good word for you with Jian, since both of you are waist-height." Normally he'd never be able to speak of such raunchy and blatantly adult matters in reference to his old mother, but Shifu had this coming.

He wasn't disappointed—the red panda's face went beet red, then white, and finally settled into a sickly gray, though whether it was at the notion of himself or Ning Guo in that situation with Jian, or the fact the whole thing sounded like something Lin would have blurted out, was debatable.

Finally, just as he looked ready to either faint, throw up, or burst into a blistering tirade, Tai Lung looked at him, crossed his arms smugly, and smiled. He pitched his voice with just the right stilted touch. "Relax, Father. I was only teasing." Mostly.

Shifu blinked rapidly, several times in succession, then began to laugh weakly as he wiped at the suddenly clammy sweat on his brow. "Thank the gods! Very well played, Tai Lung, and I certainly deserved that. Touché."

Chuckling to himself in satisfaction, the snow leopard finally climbed out of bed and, after prudently concealing the romance novel in his dresser and locking it for good measure, began making preparations for departure—putting on a shirt, fetching his cloak to ward away the spring damp, and searching for a satchel or two in which to place whatever groceries he was to buy. Though if he knew Tigress, he'd end up requiring far more than that before he was through.

He paused, however—not because he had any desire not to spend time with his darling children, or because he didn't wish to interrupt his private time since he knew he could resume as soon as he returned. It was because Shifu had blocked his way out of the room, standing there with his hands in his sleeves and his whiskered face peering up with an odd, wistful, almost fond smile on his face. Tai Lung had to fight the urge to pinch himself out of a dream; even after the old rodent had mellowed (or as much as he ever would), it was still hard to believe.

"I truly am sorry for the teasing, son. It does you credit, seeing what you have made of yourself and your life, what you have become. You are now wise as well as strong, peaceful as well as a phenomenal warrior, and loving as well as fierce in battle for those you protect. Seeing you at the Dragon Warrior's side is as awe-inspiring and wonderful as if you had been chosen yourself. I could not ask for a better son. And your family is so beautiful, you have been truly blessed. As you should be."

The words were so heartfelt, so sincere, both his expression and voice so warm and accepting that Tai Lung felt horribly guilty for what he'd put the old man through. He certainly didn't know what to say...so, he responded instead with his usual gruff, sardonic tone. "Beautifully put, Shifu."

The Grand Master coughed discreetly, seeming embarrassed himself at his unusual emotional outburst. "Er, yes. I just felt I needed to...get that off my chest."

"Of course."

"Since you'd stopped anyway, and all..."

"Yes, Father, thank you, I'm deeply touched. Now would you get out of the bloody door?"

Shifu looked around, seemed to realize where he was, and chuckled unevenly as he sidled out of the way. "Ah, yes. Quite right."

Just as the snow leopard had gone down the hallway, crossed the living room, and was almost out of the house, however, he heard the panda call out to him one last time. Bristling, he turned and looked back over his shoulder to see a smiling Shifu standing in the doorway of his room, looking...anticipatory, and oddly eager. "Oh, and Tai Lung..."

"Yes?"

"Don't forget to pick up the travel gear and supplies for our fishing trip tomorrow."

A long, meaningful look passed between them, and then the master of the Jade Palace smiled rather fondly himself before nodding firmly. "Absolutely. Wouldn't miss it for the world."

The sun was much higher in the sky when Tai Lung finally left the kwoon and began descending the countless steps toward the Valley floor, its heat having burned away much of the morning mist so as to expose the distant karst hills, the rich and verdant forests, the meandering streams and rivers, and the town far below. Yet somehow the snow leopard found himself unable to focus much on the breathtaking view...in fact he was feeling downright melancholy. And it was all because of old memories brought up by his banter with Shifu.

He sighed heavily. He knew why, of course—that far-too fortuitous and friendly encounter with Lin (as least on her part) on his way from Chorh-Gom back to the Valley of Peace. Oogway could spout his aphorism about accidents until the time came for his reincarnation, and Tai Lung would still swear that somehow or other, that crotchety old cook had engineered the whole thing, arranged it so she would 'coincidentally' cross paths with him after his escape...

In any event, that meeting had been put out of his mind in the flurry of events which followed with the Five, Shifu, and Po—far too easy for him to do, considering that prior to Lin showing up out of nowhere as she had, he'd managed to forget about her for the previous thirty-plus years, just as he'd sworn he would when she left the Valley and abandoned him.

But against his will, the memories had begun trickling back after that night when they'd cleaned out Oogway's room...for after Mantis and the others had left him to his privacy, Tai Lung had discovered the portrait of his cub self and the turtle had been painted by none other than Wei-Shan, the same famous artist whose work Lin had recognized (and practically worshiped) in the bathhouse.

Of course he'd done his level best to shut those painful recollections back down into the vaults of his mind, and the ready-made distractions of his quest for redemption, his pursuit of Tigress, and the appearance of Heian Chao had certainly aided him in that. Yet now, inexplicably, his thoughts had turned to her again...and while he'd managed to reference her only in the guise of tormenting Shifu, he found himself unable to dismiss her, instead brooding with increasing glumness on the whole matter. Why? Why was he thinking so much of the old hag now, of all times? He couldn't actually be missing her...

Out of the corner of his eye, as the mountain wind groaned and sighed in its branches, he caught a glimpse of the cherry tree beside the barracks, extending its gnarled limbs toward the tiled roof. The roof that had always been his haven, the one place he could hide from Shifu and the rigors of the training hall, get a chance to relax and be himself and dream.

Lin had found him there, joined him there, laid under the stars and told him of far-off places and the fascinating things she'd learned there...reprimanded him, but also told him she believed in him, that he could achieve his dreams. He could still see her, dangling ridiculously on a branch slowly breaking beneath her weight, forcing him to rescue her—twice. At the time, he'd been annoyed by the intrusion, or at least felt vaguely put upon, but now he could only chuckle and shake his head at the memory.

So many memories...as he glanced away, he instead found himself gazing across the mountainside toward the jutting ledge on which grew the Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom. He remembered vividly how often Lin had climbed it with surprising agility and speed, picking peaches for her pies and other desserts—earning Shifu's undying ire and resentment but only a bemused and approving smile from Oogway. Those desserts...while he'd always had something of a sweet tooth, it was getting to indulge himself with Lin's cooking that had irrevocably and fully set his habitual love of such a vice.

And that wasn't the only thing she'd taught and encouraged in him, the only manner in which she'd influenced him. His usage of the "cute kitten eyes" to get his way had been perfected under her tutelage. His cynical and sarcastic way of looking at the world, though it didn't come to full flower until his teenage years, had begun by rubbing off of her. While he'd come to his own conclusions on the matter thanks to his intense and unrelenting focus on mastering the thousand scrolls, as well as his experience with the Wu Sisters, he had to admit that Lin's advice about not being allowed to drink had stayed with him.

In fact if he'd remembered it later, it might have saved himself and everyone a lot of grief—for it could not be denied that his going down to the village to drown his sorrows the night of the rampage had indeed "gotten him in trouble." And the fact he'd often found Lin's insults to Shifu funny had likely affected his own caustic and harsh sense of humor in ways he wasn't even aware of. By the same token, though, there were things he remembered now, things he had deliberately tried to expunge or which had simply been forgotten, which he wished had not. Lessons he should have learned, ones that would have spared everyone much pain.

That he didn't have to look tough to be tough. That kung fu was not about fighting, but helping. That Shifu acting like an overbearing mother had proven he did, in fact, love Tai Lung. That what he wanted wouldn't necessarily make him happy. That he shouldn't hide and sulk every time someone hurt him and could not keep from getting hurt, because "people who love you most do most of the hurting, 'cause when people care they just seem to mess up all the more." And most of all, that the Dragon Scroll might be a riddle, something he would not expect.

He'd dismissed her, rejected her, tried to drive his memories of her away until it was as if she had never entered his life at all. He had denied he cared, even though he did more than he could put into words, even now. He had been influenced greatly by her, for good and for ill. And he had to admit, in the end, she'd been more right than he ever could have imagined.

A smile quirked the corners of his mouth, beginning small and becoming quite broad and rakish, as he realized, with extreme ruefulness, that Lin's warning about women had been incredibly apropos. Absolutely merciless, like many hungry locusts that will devour men alive? That's Tigress, all right. And yet, after falling victim to this "insidious foe" as his cubhood self had once hoped not to, he wouldn't have it any other way.

If only he'd remembered the advice he'd gleaned from his scrolls, to tell women they were strong, confident, beautiful, and he respected them. That would have helped matters enormously with Tigress. So Lin was also wrong, I was hardly a natural ladies' man. He shook his head a bit mournfully, chuckling softly to himself.

Even accepting such things about himself, knowing he was hardly the great warrior as a cub as he was now, knowing he had utterly failed at hooking up Lin and Shifu and would never have won Tigress's heart without Viper and Mei Ling's help, somehow did not sting so badly. Not when he recalled what he had done, what he had learned, and how good it had felt to have people who cared, people who believed in him, when no one else did...not even himself.

Lin had left him, yes. But at least she had been there once, at least she had tried, and had given him more than anyone else had up to that point. And he found that despite everything, despite how annoying, smug, self-congratulatory, insulting, and condescending she could be, he also couldn't help remembering the good times, the happy memories.

And...he did miss Lin. He'd thought kung fu would be the only thing that wouldn't let him down...but he had let himself down instead, let kung fu down. Yet when he'd encountered Lin on that snowy slope, she surely must have known what he'd done, twenty years before—and she had still cared about him, still believed in him. He hoped, wherever she was, that she'd found peace. Or more likely, was driving someone insane with her endless, know-it-all chatter and brazen, brutally honest jokes at their expense.

Suddenly, before he could reflect any further on Lin and what she had done for his life, Tai Lung felt a small weight shift on his left shoulder, and then a soft-furred, oversized, striped paw waved up and down in front of his face, startling him. "Uh...Baba? You okay? You kinda...spaced out there."

From his other shoulder, a slightly prim and feminine voice spoke up. "Hu, don't you remember? Mama told us Baba wanted to take it easy today. If he's going to rest, then I bet he's not going to want to talk much, either."

Hu snorted and eyed his sister sardonically across Tai Lung's blocky head. "Yeah, but...nothing, the whole time we're walkin' down the mountain? We're already at the bridge! Nobody talks as much as Uncle Po, but...are you sure Baba ain't sick? He didn't even ask us about our day!"

"Maybe he's bored hearing you go on and on about how 'awesome' the Dragon Warrior is. Maybe he thinks you should be talking about Mama that way." Huo glared at him pointedly.

"I do too!" his son said defensively. "Mama's the best! And Uncle Monkey, Uncle Crane, Aunt Viper..." He counted on his fingers.

"Do not," the already svelte little snow leopardess insisted, elevating her nose.

"Do so!"

"Do not!"

The tiger boy growled under his breath, golden eyes flashing. "You take that back, or I'm gonna shove you in Baba's grocery basket!"

An eyebrow raised above a ruby eye. "You mean, you're going to try," Huo retorted archly.

Before matters got any worse, Tai Lung swiftly reached up and placed a paw on each of his children's shoulders, gently but firmly holding them apart. "All right now, that's enough! Huo, don't egg your brother on. Hu...you know very well she's just as strong as you, and much sneakier. So unless you want to have your muzzle ground in the dirt..." There'll be plenty of time for them to batter each other senseless later. Preferably when I am not their perch.

The boy sighed heavily, grumbled audibly, and sat back in a huff, arms crossed as he glared at his sister but didn't press his attack. "Aww Baba, you never let me have any fun..." His sullen tone, pugnacious expression, and cute, pleading look in his eyes was so very like Tai Lung at that age despite his striped face that his father had to start laughing in spite of himself.

His children...his precious son and daughter. How he treasured and adored them as the rewards they were. Five years old now, nearly six, both as bright and precocious as could be, just like their parents...though he had to note as always, and with wry amusem*nt, how else they took after their parents.

Whether because she had inherited Tigress's thirst to prove herself and bold strength of purpose (despite, as yet, not showing more than a passing interest in kung fu), or because she simply had her mother's intelligence and fiery spirit, Huo showed a voracious interest in learning and academics which accounted for her slightly more erudite, and definitely more proper, vocabulary—or perhaps she was simply determined to be as mature as possible. Something which had been true of Tai Lung at that age as well...

As for Hu, while the boy could hardly be called lazy and in fact his mind was nearly as sharp as those of the rest of his family, he did adopt a certain easygoing, carefree attitude in his speech as well as his outlook on life—the sort of slight condescension and sardonic nature which the master of the Jade Palace had always nurtured and which was true of so many cats.

Luckily he did not, as yet, display any signs of true arrogance and contempt for those 'beneath' him, which Tai Lung sincerely hoped would never appear and he was determined to stamp out the minute he spied them taking root—but he did have the same fascination with kung fu as his father had at that age, and continually begged to be allowed to watch his parents, Po, and the rest of the Five in the kwoon, if not participate himself.

Huo...how appropriate her name had been, considering she had the spitfire nature and, when riled enough, fiery temper of both her parents. While his boy, the one who would carry on his name and lineage, who had the incredible strength of both his parents plus an inner tenderness neither of them had allowed to flourish until now, so many years late, a compassion and sympathy and caring which oddly enough seemed more like Po than anyone else...

When the tiger cub had been born, Tai Lung had been sorely tempted to name him something grand, something in honor of the great kung fu tradition to which he was heir, something which hearkened to the title his father had aspired to and the one he had actually been given, the sheer breadth of knowledge he would inherit and the warrior spirit which would surely blossom into a prowess like the mighty snow leopard who had sired him. A name like Tai Lung's own, or at least something impressive like "fighter" or "mountain"...

But no. When he had looked into his son's eyes for the first time, and remembered how he had earned the right to have this gift by changing himself for the better, he had known that whatever kung fu might lie in his future, his son was a blessing. And if he did learn his father's craft, it would be to act as Tai Lung and Po did, as a protector and defender, not a conqueror or warmonger whose blood ran hot with a love of battle. Once, he could never have considered such a relatively peaceful name, would have found it the height of cowardice and weakness. Now, he knew better. Now, he knew his son would be everything he had not been, right from the start.

That is, after he was old enough, of course. When it was safe.

As if Hu had read his thoughts, the tiger cub sat up from his depressed funk and lashed his tail in his father's face to get his attention. "We sure had fun this morning, though! Mama kicked Auntie Mei's butt on the snakes!" He stared at his sister meaningfully. "And Uncle Monkey was sooo cool on those rings! And Uncle Po took out those wooden warriors like he was as strong as you, Baba! And the way Aunt Viper did the Field of Fiery Death..." He savored every word, the title of that obstacle being the only he had learned so far. "I'm gonna do it just like that, just you wait and see!"

Tai Lung tried not to groan audibly; he loved his son's enthusiasm, but... "I'm sure you will, xiǎo jiāhuo. But not yet. Not until you're older."

"Why?"

"You're not ready yet, and it's far too dangerous."

"Why?"

"Because some of those obstacles are made for much bigger warriors, son. They assume you know what you're doing, that you have the skills you need to survive. They could kill you, Hu...and you can't start learning how to face them yet." He crossed his fingers and prayed.

But of course, like his father, Hu was stubborn. "Why not? I thought you were already tearin' up the kwoon at our age, Baba!"

"Yes..." he admitted, reluctantly.

Huo had raised an amused eyebrow at him. "Didn't Yeh-Yeh Shifu even set up a training schedule and everything when you showed interest and skill? Not that I care."

"True, that he did."

"Well, then why not?"

Tai Lung closed his eyes in obscure pain. This must be that undiscovered form of torture I've heard tell about. Are they trying to break my sanity, so I'll be more lenient with them? Simply to be as equally maddening in return, since he knew they hated it as all children hated it, as he himself had hated it when Shifu pulled it on him, he finally replied, "Because."

He wasn't disappointed. "Aww man! Please, Baba? You know I can do it!" Hu knelt on his shoulder, shooting him those desperate kitten eyes that were nearly impossible to resist. "Sis spends all her time with dusty old scrolls, or with Mama, she doesn't even wanna train, so you don't gotta worry about her—"

"That's because I don't need the kwoon," Huo interjected calmly. "If I ever want to learn, Mama can instruct me."

As if he hadn't heard her, his son continued. "—but I can do it, I know I can! I can be brave and strong, don't ya believe me, Baba? I wanna be just like you!" He clung to his father's ear pleadingly.

For a moment Tai Lung wavered; he hated disappointing his children, and he couldn't deny the thought of either of them (but especially his son) training in kung fu made him inordinately proud. But Hu's tack had given him the response he needed. "I'm afraid not," he said gently, regretfully. "Not yet, anyway. Starting that young, well...it got your Baba into trouble. So let's give you a couple more years, see how I feel then, all right?"

He knew he was being overprotective—in fact that was why he was carrying them on his shoulders, using the very long descent down the many steps as an excuse—but he couldn't help it. He never wanted anything to happen to them...especially not for either of them to suffer the same fate he had. He knew Hu wanted this badly, but he had to be sure it was for the right reasons, for his own betterment and to help others and be a true hero, not to look 'cool' or because he thought it was expected of him and the only worthwhile life to lead.

The boy wilted visibly, slumping on his shoulder, and Tai Lung longed to comfort him. But at that moment his sister spoke up again, an arch tone in her little voice. "Speaking of being older, Baba, we can walk by ourselves, you know. We're already down the stairs and across the bridge, after all."

"No," Tai Lung replied instantly, even though he knew that was another word geared to get the worst possible reaction from a child. "The village is very busy, very full, you could get trampled underfoot. I'm not putting you down till we reach the market."

Hu stiffened again. "But Baba, we're five years old!"

"And ten months," Huo added intently.

"And ten months," Hu echoed her. "So we are old enough, see?"

Pausing on the other side of the moon bridge, on the cobblestones just before he would enter the village proper, the snow leopard pretended to consider, as if actually listening to cub logic. Then he started walking again and said matter-of-factly, "Maybe. But I'm your father, I'm forty-three years old and eight months, so I outrank you. Got it?"

There was a few long moments of silence. Then, resentfully, in chorus: "Yes, Baba."

"Good. You know I only do it because I love you." Kissing each of them on top of the head (Huo accepted it with equanimity, while of course Hu squirmed, pretending to get away even as he purred happily), he added as an afterthought, "By the way, was your Uncle Po behaving himself?"

Hu made a disgusted face. "Nah, he and Aunt Jia were kissin' under the bleachers again."

"Master Mantis actually said they were making out, whatever that means," Huo said sagely, her face deadpan solemn; he had the feeling she knew exactly what it meant.

"Master Mantis needs a little punishment," Tai Lung muttered darkly, then sighed. "Never mind, I'm sure your mother will take care of it." Which means Po and especially Jia are going to wish they had the whole empire between them and Tigress. While Mantis and Monkey will be devouring almond cookies and charging barrels of mou for ringside seats. "Let's get to the market then, shall we?"

Both his cubs cheered eagerly, but just as he thought he'd dodged that particular arrow, Hu spoke up again, his tone completely and utterly innocent. "Uncle Mantis really does say the kookiest things, though. When he caught Aunt Jia and Uncle Po, he said 'bom chicka wow wow'. What does that mean, Baba?"

Tai Lung squeezed his eyes shut and briefly buried his face in his paw. I am going to kill him. Dismember him limb from limb, have Po fry him for dinner, and feed him to everyone. Assuming Tigress doesn't get to him first. "I'll tell you when you're older, Hu. Much, much older..."

On that note, the snow leopard swiftly carried his children into the teeming streets of the village before anything worse could be said or objections raised. And while he might be overprotective, he happened to think his worries about trampling were right on the money, since everywhere he looked there were hordes of sheep, pigs, geese, and rabbits thronging about—mothers shepherding their children, merchants hawking their wares, caravan guards eyeing the crowds suspiciously, temple servants fetching incense for their inner sanctums, outsider travelers from distant provinces, and more.

Luckily, not only were most of them dwarfed by Tai Lung so that he could maneuver his way easily (but carefully) between them, but as soon as most of the Valley's citizens recognized the master of the Jade Palace, they bowed deeply and moved aside for him—many grinning and waving goofily at Hu and Huo as they did so.

When at last he had reached the center of the town's busiest plaza, which was in turn in the middle of the busy marketplace, Tai Lung worked his way to one side of the square until he could slip to relative safety, underneath a storefront awning at the edge of the crowd that kept him and his children out of the line of fire. There he finally scooped his son and daughter off of his shoulders and set them down before him on the cobblestones. He could tell at a glance, of course, how excited and raring to go both of them were, especially Hu who held as much energy and manic glee as he had at that age. But they both stood quite still, expectant and well-behaved, paws clasped behind their backs and faces upturned with questioning hopefulness.

At once he laughed and bent down on one knee before them, giving each of them a warm hug and ruffling fur and ears. Huo made a disapproving face as she tried to adopt a ladylike pose and smooth out her pelt, while Hu only giggled and purred. "All right now, you little imps, I know what you want and how badly. But you don't get something for nothing. You know what to do." He looked from one face to the other, then flicked his gaze out into the teeming market. "Ready to go?"

"Yes," Huo supplied at once, eyes shining.

"We were born ready!" Hu said almost on top of her, in a very familiar tone and emphasis indeed.

"That's what I like to hear." He crossed his arms over his chest, putting on his best stern look. "First thing Baba needs, then, is potatoes and rice. I wonder who—"

"Me, me!" The little tiger practically leaped off the ground, waving his striped arms and bouncing up and down. "I can do it, I can do it!"

"Are you sure?" Tai Lung drawled skeptically. "The bags will be large, and very heavy..."

Hu puffed out his fluffy chest and strutted in place. "'Course I can! I'm as strong as you are, Baba! Someday I'm gonna be stronger, too, just you wait and see!" He lifted first one arm, then the other, to flex and show off his young muscles.

Carefully concealing a grin behind his musing paw—I wonder where he could have picked that up? Haven't a clue—he looked to his daughter. "Then I suppose that means you'll fetch the soy sauce, ginger, and garlic for me, while I take care of the fish? That way Mama can make her spicy sauce salmon tonight."

He smiled openly at that; to his extreme pleasure and relief, Dalang's tutelage of nearly five years ago and his own patience that he had learned at last to cultivate had made Tigress's culinary lessons go far smoother than his own, and she had in fact thankfully turned into quite a cook. And she'd managed to do so without either of them killing each other, a minor miracle in itself. Something he'd rubbed in the smug Amur's face. Nicely.

Huo's eyes sparkled even brighter and she rose to her full height. "Of course, Baba. Carrying all those bottles and jars needs balance and intelligence." She turned and artfully stuck her tongue out at her posturing brother. "Which leaves you out. You're so careless, you'd break them all."

Before the boy could do more than growl and gather himself for pouncing upon his sister, Tai Lung swiftly placed a paw on Hu's shoulder to restrain him. "Now stop that, Huo, you should really be above that sort of thing, you know. Everyone has his or her own talents, things they're suited to. Let your brother do his, you carry out yours, and remember we're all just as valuable here."

Eyeing her meaningfully until she looked contrite, he reached into his belt pouch and began counting out coins from his cash string. His little girl always did love to impress him, but she needed to be reminded every now and then—as did Hu, truth be told—about balance and equality. He had to draw on his entire store of memories of Oogway's moral sayings, and sometimes even appeal to Po, to find the wisdom to stay ahead of, and properly instruct, his clever twins.

After he had finished furnishing her with the needed funds, he did the same for Hu, who unsurprisingly was still glaring resentfully at the little snow leopardess. "There you go, that should be enough for now." His children were intelligent enough to do the proper sums, keep track of the prices, and make sure they came back with correct change, but even if they made a mistake, the merchants were all fair and honest and would double-check every transaction. Especially when they recognize just who their adorable customers are. At least they will if they know what's good for them!

Not that he'd ever harm any of them, but...a little pressure from the Jade Palace to keep everyone on the straight and narrow never hurt. Implication was everything.

Popping each of them on the rump, he smiled and shooed them off. "Now you know what to do, get going! The sooner you get back, the sooner we get everything on the list—and the sooner you can get your reward." That, of course, was the magic word, and in seconds both cubs were scampering off, paws tightly clutched around their small change-purses, each carrying a basket or pouch, easily weaving their way with practiced skill until they had joined two lines for stalls on the far side of the plaza—still within sight, of course. He sighed slowly.

And that was when the voice spoke behind him...the creaky, wheezy, rough voice he'd never thought he would hear again, that he'd last heard on a snowy slope between Xinjiang and Gansu. "Well, if that doesn't beat all! Never thought I'd see the day...but I'd recognize those cute kitten eyes anywhere, they've gotta be your kids."

For the second time that day, Tai Lung leaped several feet off the ground and let out a startled yowl of shock and disbelief. Unsurprisingly, when he landed he found himself face-to-face (since he'd twisted about in mid-air) with a snorting, wildly cackling figure that was all too familiar. Despite being so much older now, she still looked like an ambulatory dandelion, with fur so snarled and explosively puffy she put him in mind of a ball of wool that had been carded and teased by a mad seamstress.

Even if she'd been shaved bald though (an image that briefly had him snickering almost as much as she was), he'd have known her—that voice, that laugh, and even the all-too-knowing and co*cky gleam in her eyes as she regarded the world and everything around her as the most colossal and ridiculous joke ever devised—perhaps, he realized upon reflection, because it was the only way for her to keep from screaming at the cruelty, injustice, and insane imbalance of life. He'd thought he'd never see her again, in fact he had fervently hoped he wouldn't. Yet here she was. How did she know? Oogway, if this is another of your cosmic jokes...

"Oh...oh crap...hah-hah..." Lin held a hand clasped to her chest as if her heart were about to stop, and she in fact looked in danger of falling over, so much so she had to lean against one of the awning posts to stay upright. "C'mon, ticker, don't stop beating..."

"Yes, perish the thought were that to happen," Tai Lung replied sardonically.

"Can it," the dog said absently, then immediately started wheezing and chuckling again. "Ya oughta know by now, nothin's gonna knock out this old warhorse. Hell, not even a warhorse. Did I ever tell ya 'bout the time I rode one to get away from the highway patrol that was after me? If ya know what I mean..."

Gah! No...must...avoid...mental images... "No, I must have missed that one, was that before or after you met the yokou?" Before she could do more than open her mouth, he swiftly cut her off. "Nevermind. Seriously, old woman, don't die laughing on me here."

"What'd I tell ya already? I've had a good life. Besides, that'd be a great way to go, don'tcha think?" Her expression turned wistful and reminiscing—and then sly. "It'd be better than springtime. Better than sex. Not that you'd know anything about that."

Tai Lung bristled in spite of himself—this long after the fact, it still nettled him he'd remained a virgin for so long. "Did you forget my two bundles of joy over there? I'll have you know I know a damn sight more about it than you think. And nothing is better than sex."

He couldn't believe he was having this conversation, of all things, with Lin, but after Mantis and Monkey he wasn't about to take such impugning of his masculinity sitting down any longer. Even if he knew for a fact there were things that were better...like spending time with his family, holding his cubs, cuddling with Tigress, fighting side by side with Po...

"That's right, I guess you would," Lin interrupted his thoughts with a nonplussed look. "Well, I'm glad ya finally found something to get your mind off kung fu for a change. That really wasn't healthy for ya, you know."

Tell me about it. "Well actually," he drawled, unable to resist yanking her chain a little, "there's more connection between the two than one might think. Kung fu does improve constitution and stamina, after all." He buffed his knuckles on his chest fur.

"It does?" Lin's tone was so openly mystified and amazed it had to be feigned, but he wasn't quite sure, until she went on. "Well jeez, guess I shoulda made sure to jump old Melonhead's bones before I left the Valley, eh? 'Cause there's no way he'd be up for that now, and even if he was, I'd still have to show him everything..."

Tai Lung groaned and slapped his forehead, but he couldn't even blame Lin for this; he had given her the opening, after all. "Oh gods...this must be some sort of divine punishment..."

As if she hadn't even heard him, Lin kept nattering on. "...and at his age, he'd probably die right in the middle of it—and ya know, that'd be an even better way to go than dyin' laughing? But like I was sayin', I'm just fine, so don't you worry. It's just, ya shoulda seen the look on your face! Worth waiting seven years for..."

"I can only imagine." He had to allow, privately, that he likely had looked rather comical, reacting as he had, but he would never admit that aloud. At least she seemed to have gotten off the topic of sex.

Not that her next words were any better. "You're still using that accent? Guess some things just stick and become habits. And I guess it did nab ya a girl after all..."

In point of fact, he had not adopted the accent for any such purpose, it was something he had picked up during one of his visits to the capital with Oogway—in all honesty, a way to impress everyone with how high-class and sophisticated his education was encouraging him to be. Lin had always said he tried so hard to be grown-up, and considering how his training had made him mature far too quickly, she'd been right in at least that sense. Not that he would admit that either.

Choosing not to dignify her words with a response, he instead latched onto what she'd said previously. "So why did it take you seven years to come back to the Valley, may I ask? And where have you been since we...parted ways?" He tried to sidestep the manner in which he'd last spoken to her.

Of course, she didn't let him get away with that for a moment. "You mean, when ya threatened—repeatedly, I might add—to kill me?" she said flatly. "After ya almost strangled me?"

"Um, yes. That. Sorry. I was, er, having a bad day." He shifted uncomfortably in place, his words sounding lame even to him. He should have known she wouldn't let him off the hook so easily; and considering all the other sins he'd committed that he'd had to atone for since Po used the Wuxi Finger Hold, it was only fitting and right.

Except Lin surprised him again. Brushing her fur out of her eyes, she turned the gesture into a flippant wave. "Eh, forget it. I understand, water under the bridge and all that."

He blinked. "Really?"

"Of course. We all have bad days. I've been known to have a few myself."

"You don't say," he gasped, affecting the same tone she had when he'd been bragging about what kung fu had done for his stamina.

"No, no, it's true," Lin reassured him, as if he'd been completely sincere. "So I understand where you're coming from. Besides...I know ya had your heart set on that scroll. You'd been through a lot, that stupid marmoset made ya think getting some shiny piece of parchment and a title was the only way to make your life worthwhile, ya thought nobody believed in ya, and then I showed up outta nowhere and reminded ya of someone else who hurt ya. Doesn't justify what ya did, but it sure as hell explains it."

Tai Lung would have laughed at the dog's usual 'mixup' of Shifu's species, if he weren't so stunned how, as usual, Lin saw right to the heart of the matter and understood him better than anyone else—better than he had himself. How could someone so seemingly simple-minded be so wise? But then that also applied to the only other person who had shown such insight about him...Po. And even Oogway's mysticism and Zen sayings, when pared down to the essence, were utterly simple. Perhaps part of his problem was that, like Shifu, he had always tried to make things far too complicated.

While he was still reeling from that bit of self-knowledge, Lin barreled on. "Where was I? Shacking up with Wei-Shan, of course. If ya didn't know, he lives not too far from Chorh-Gom, and when I came back to China he was one of the people I most wanted to see again. So after ya showed me the gentle side of your tongue, I decided discretion was the better part of valor for once and pushed on to his place. I figured it was best to stay out of your way till ya got what ya wanted, or ya didn't."

"That...was probably for the best, yes," he said faintly.

Lin opened her mouth again, then closed it. "Okay, this is gonna take too long to tell ya, we've got a lot to catch up on, and my back ain't what it used to be. Think we can siddown somewhere?"

Tai Lung looked around and noticed that while a number of people were watching in amusem*nt, while others seemed rather wary—of Lin, as well as himself!—most of the crowd continued on their typical everyday pursuits. Through the milling villagers, he spied a nearby terrace fronting a cafe, one with just enough space for maneuvering while still being small enough to ensure privacy. And it was even still within view of the stalls where his cubs would be shopping.

Pointing with a thumb, he led Lin in a still slightly befuddled state to one of the sets of wooden table and chairs. As the master of the Jade Palace, of course, he was generally given the run of the town now, allowed to visit and even loiter in and around any number of establishments, but he felt it was only the courteous thing to do to order something from the cafe proprietor. That, and he wanted something solid and secure to hold onto...

After he'd received a steaming cup of his favorite oolong, the dog asked, as she had on that mountaintop, whether she could light her pipe. This time he was much more magnanimous about it, and he had to admit that it didn't bother him any more—no more than any other pungent aroma did. Once they were both situated, and Lin had puffed out several large, billowing clouds of smoke, she drummed her fingers a bit on the table. "Where was I...oh yeah!

"Well, anyway, I went and stayed with Wei-Shan, and we both figured we'd wait to hear what news there was from the Valley before we tried to get involved and stumble into some serious sh*t. And once Shifu sent Wei-Shan a letter, saying he was trying to reform ya, turn ya back into a hero and find ya a place in the Valley again, I knew I made the right choice. The last person either of ya would wanna see at that point was me, and seein' as how I didn't hang around to help keep ya on the straight and narrow, it'd be downright stupid thinking either of you would let me help—and as you know, I never do anything stupid." She winked knowingly, but then her expression turned serious.

"Besides, what do I know about turning people's lives around or makin' heroes out of 'em? I'm not a kung fu warrior, and I have enough trouble dodgin' my own shady past. Plus, my business is gettin' people riled up, ready to rebel and change their lives for the better, not keeping 'em calm and contemplatin' their navel lint so they can fix their souls or whatever. Don't know if Shifu told ya about that..."

Tai Lung nodded but did not trust himself to speak; it had explained a great deal, about Lin's personality, her secretiveness, and why she'd had to flee China, but it hadn't been enough to make him forgive her. Of course now he could see how her desire to help oppressed people in need—even if it meant she had to sacrifice her own happiness in the bargain—was a selfless and noble act, the sort of thing he was supposed to have been doing on his path to attaining the Dragon Scroll; perhaps she knew more about heroism than she realized. But at the time, it had just seemed another nail in the coffin of their relationship, that she had believed helping all these nameless others was more important than keeping a low profile, allowing the authorities to forget about her...and staying with him.

"No, I'm all about givin' people the tools to help themselves, not saving 'em and doing it for 'em." Lin gave him a hard look, then turned her gaze meaningfully across the village, toward the Jade Palace high on its verdant peak. "And this was between you an' numbnu*ts anyway. I tried to tell him, I warned him and warned him he needed to treat ya differently, like a real son, instead of makin' everything about kung fu and spoiling ya with praise every time ya answered everything with violence, the way he wanted ya to. But he wouldn't listen.

"So...he made his bed, he could lie in it. He's the one who screwed you up, so it was gonna be up to him to set you right. Even if I coulda helped, I wasn't gonna come between you two finally learning to have a decent relationship. Or him from having his nose rubbed in the sh*t he dumped on everyone."

Once, Lin's judgmental and arrogant words would have upset him greatly, infuriated him even—when he was still a cub, still thought the sun rose and set on Shifu and he could do no wrong. Even if he was a terrifying and intimidating figure for all his diminutive size. Now, although he had forgiven his father, understood where he was coming from, and Shifu had made amends as well as leaps and bounds...well, more like tentative steps and slow crawls...in being a better parent, the snow leopard agreed with her completely. The red panda had screwed up, ruined both their lives for years, thus justifying in his mind so many of his own heinous acts during the rampage and their battle twenty years later.

But in the end, he had managed to do the right thing after all, redressed the balance, set his son on the proper, honorable course. And he had done so with assistance from Viper, Crane, and especially Po—without interference from Lin. She had made the right choice; her presence would have only riled Shifu and made matters worse. Particularly considering the nature of the siege which had followed...

As if she'd read his mind, the old canine gave him an uneasy look, puffed her pipe a few more times, and went on. "It was a good thing I didn't, too. 'Cause even while you were getting your head put back on straight, Wei-Shan and I started hearin' about those awful killings. The emperor's soldiers couldn't do anything—typical!—and the Kung Fu Council was busy with some invasion or other, I never got the details. When the murders started gettin' real close to his place, Wei-Shan tried to comfort people in the nearby villages—seeing as how that would've been way out of my element—" In spite of himself Tai Lung snorted.

"Which is why he was right on hand when the dead started walkin' in Qinghe." Lin shook her head in disbelief. "And here I thought all that voodoo crap was just mystical mumbo-jumbo. Well I sure was proven wrong that day. It was a good thing for the villagers Wei-Shan was there. Not sure what he did, some kinda chi thing with his staff—woulda been funny, seeing all those zombies getting blasted off, if it weren't so damn morbid—and then he got the villagers to high-tail it outta there. Wasn't enough room or food for them to stay with us, but he at least got 'em supplied so they could make it to other villages. He got 'em to take their dead with them, too, so they wouldn't get attacked again...and to keep their loved ones from being abused like that by Chao."

At his startled look and choking sound, Lin glanced at him. "Yeah, Wei-Shan knew who he was. Guess he felt that asshole's chi when he visited the Valley sometime, and Oogway told him all about it and what he hoped would happen to the bastard, if you could ever be the warrior he wanted you to be. Glad I didn't know; if I had, I never would have gone to the palace to begin with."

She paused, then smiled at him warmly, an expression he hadn't seen in years, one that made her look much younger and happier despite her ragged, puffy fur. "But you did it, kid. You took care of that mangy bird, saved the empire—and from what Shifu said in his letter, ya looked damned awesome while doing it. I told you I knew you'd do what you set out to do, you'd be a hero and a great warrior and everything—and you didn't even need that scroll to do it. So, I guess it really all did work out the way it was supposed to. That Oogway, he was nuttier than a fruitcake, but he sure knew what he was doing."

"Yes...yes he did, at that..." Throat suddenly dry, Tai Lung took another long drink of his tea. To know that Lin had been there, all along, in the background...that on the one paw, she, too, had been in grave danger and he hadn't even known it, but on the other paw her refusal to return to the Valley might well have saved her life—for if she had not been possessed or slaughtered by Chao, her loud mouth and determination to stand up against oppression would at least have gotten her murdered by Xiu or Chun... It boggled his mind.

He wasn't surprised that Lin had still believed in him though, nor that she would praise him now for his great deeds—aside from everyone else doing so after Chao's defeat, Lin had always believed in him, encouraged him to achieve his dreams. Which only made him feel extremely guilty instead. "I...truly am sorry, Lin. For the things I said, and the way I acted, that day we met again. You didn't deserve it."

"Sure I did!" the dog announced breezily, almost gaily. "Anyway, it's okay, I'm used to men apologizin' to me. Must be 'cause of my scintillating personality. And how men always screw up."

There was no way to answer that without angering her, so he settled on awkwardness instead. "Um...yes."

"Besides, I didn't really help matters much, tryin' to mother ya and give ya words of wisdom when ya just needed to be alone. And I kinda feel bad too." When he gave her a quizzical look, she looked embarrassed and waved her pipe-stem at him. "Well see, there I was, telling ya I believed in you, that I knew you'd get everything ya hoped for—but in one of my arguments with Shifu, I once said I hoped your scroll was blank. Which...really didn't show much respect for you or your dreams. So, I'm sorry too."

The look of heartfelt contrition on her wizened face was so rare he didn't want to disturb it, and it almost made up for all those years she'd abandoned him. But the irony in what she'd just told him was so strong that he couldn't help but blurt out the truth. "Er...thank you, Lin. But don't feel...too bad. Because...you were right."

"Of course I was right, I'm always right—wait, I was?"

At any other time he would laughed outright at the poleaxed look on her face. "Yes. Well, sort of. It was actually a reflection, meant to make me look at myself—literally—and see the strength and abilities I already had within." He smirked self-deprecatingly. "Which means you were still right—it was a riddle, and one I didn't get until it was too late."

For several moments she stared at him without making a sound. Then she burst out laughing. Even though he'd expected it, it still hurt a little. It helped though that after all this time, with hindsight, the whole thing had started to seem a bit funny, which was why after a few moments he actually joined her, although he only chuckled quietly rather than wheezing raucously as she did.

When her laughter had at last died down, Lin shook her head. "Huh, who'd of thunk it? And there I was just making stuff up to try and get you to think. Maybe I should be a soothsayer, huh?"

He pursed his lips coolly. "Don't wrench your arm out of its socket patting yourself on the back there."

"I haven't done that once in the last thirty years," she remarked just as snidely, "so I think I'm safe."

"My goodness, woman, you really have not changed a bit."

"Neither have you," Lin retorted. "Well, your humor's gotten better but I'm sure that's all due to my illustrious influence. You sure didn't get it from the lemur. But no," she added before he could do more than growl menacingly, "from what Wei-Shan and I heard, you lost to the Dragon Warrior, not just 'cause ya didn't understand the scroll, but because ya got overconfident. You thought 'cause ya knew all those thousand scrolls—don't get me wrong, that's still pretty damned impressive!—that nobody could ever beat ya, definitely not a big, fat panda. Ya forgot what I told ya, no matter how good you are you're never the best."

Tai Lung groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut in despair. "I know, I know, you blasted, pompous bitch! I've already been through all this, and learned my lesson long ago, thank you very much!"

"Remember those crocodile bandits we fought?" she said meaningfully. "You thought you were ready to face them, too, but ya weren't." Then she paused, as what he'd said finally sank in. To his shock, she didn't seem fazed by his language, or even angry. Instead she only looked deeply ashamed. "Um wait—what? You have?"

Forcibly restraining himself, and pushing his anger down into his chi until he felt calm and controlled once more, the snow leopard nevertheless gritted his teeth and gripped the edge of the table until the wood cracked. That felt better. "Yes. Yes, I have. I appreciate the attempt, but it's not necessary. Everyone here at the palace has made it very clear to me just where and how I went wrong, starting with Po himself. And ever since then, I've done my level best to think outside that box. That's why I can fight at the Dragon Warrior's side. I know I'm still the best—I just have an equal now. Many equals. And we all have our roles to play and niches to fill. So, if you don't mind, I'd rather shelve the lecture and talk about something more pleasant, hmm?"

For several moments Lin's mouth worked, and he didn't know if she were amazed at the progress he'd made or simply stunned someone, let alone him, had spoken to her like that. Then she said, in a small voice, "Oh. Okay. Well, that...that's good. Glad we had this talk."

She sounded so much like Po in that moment that he almost laughed, and relief filled him as he felt his anger dissipating. He truly did not want to fight with Lin. Not for real, anyway. Which was why, after nodding slowly, he lifted his teacup to drink, paused, and said matter-of-factly, "Good. And anyway, in case you didn't know, I eat bandits for breakfast these days."

Lin snorted. "Is that how you got so big?"

"Well, it certainly wasn't from eating Shifu's cooking," he muttered as he drank.

"What? " The dog leaned forward on the table, eyes bulging unattractively as her fur, incredibly, puffed out even more. "That ass dared to mess up my kitchen? After all the hard work I went to, making it so disorganized no one could find anything, but I'd always know where everything was? And he tried to cook, too?"

For a moment it seemed she was going to launch into a blistering tirade—but then, unexpectedly, she started laughing uproariously. Before he could wax eloquent on Shifu's failure as a chef, however, and thus ensure her good humor eclipsed her righteous ire, the sound of scraping claws on the cobblestones reached his ears, and he turned to see Hu and Huo coming in their direction.

Well, he could see Huo; his son was practically buried under the bags of potatoes and rice he was carrying, though to his credit the strength he'd inherited from his parents was letting him hoist the vegetables with ease. He needed his sister, however, to keep him from tripping and guide him in the right direction.

"Goodness! You did manage it...what a strapping son I've got!" He got up from his chair and leaned down to scoop the bag of potatoes out of Hu's arms, grinning; he was partly playing to the boy's vanity, but he was also genuinely proud of the lad.

"You sure do, Baba!" The tiger grinned back at him, setting down the sack of rice so he could puff out his chest and brace his fists on his hips.

"Strength isn't everything," Huo sniffed, even if Tai Lung thought he noticed a gleam of admiration in her ruby eyes. "And I brought everything you asked for too, Baba."

He smiled as he took the basket from her, examining the bottles and jars she'd purchased. "You most certainly did, xiǎo jiāhuo."

Behind him there was a cough, and he froze. "Well? Aren't ya gonna introduce me to your kids, Master Tai?"

Slowly he turned to see Lin still sitting there, puffing idly on her pipe, surrounded by smoke for all the world as if she were Oogway doing his tai chi in the morning mist. Her expression was friendly, even sweet—which worried him all the more.

"Who's that?" Hu, perhaps sensing his father's disquiet or maybe simply bothered by the smoke, curled his lip skeptically and scrunched up his nose.

There was nothing else for it. "This is Mistress Lin." He knew she would hate that title being applied to her, which was precisely why he used it. "She's an old friend of the family." He placed particular emphasis on 'old'.

The only indication that she was peeved was the slight frizzing and fluffing of her tail; otherwise the dog only smiled at his cubs and waved her free hand. "Hiya, kids! Yup, me and your daddy go way back."

"And this is my son Hu, and my daughter Huo," Tai Lung continued with forced pleasantness. "Say hello to the nice lady."

His cubs exchanged a confused, uncertain look. Then his son spoke up. "Uh...is she supposed to look like a featherduster, Baba?"

As the snow leopard stifled a guffaw, Lin merely chuckled. "That's my day job, kid," she confided dryly, with a conspiratorial look.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, nǚshì," Huo intoned, carefully and formally, as she did a proper bow. "Did you know Yeh-Yeh Shifu, too?"

"'Yeh-Yeh Shifu'. That's cute, have to remember that one...oh yes, you better believe I did. Though not half so well as I'd like to 'know' him..."

Before Lin could explain precisely what she meant by that suggestive turn of phrase, Tai Lung intervened. "Yes, well, anyway, I do believe there were some more items to get from that list..."

Hu interrupted him, apparently having gotten over his initial distrust and instead hopping up and down excitedly. "So, like, you knew our Baba and stuff? What was he like, was he as cool then as he is now? Tellmetellmetellme!"

Tai Lung closed his eyes and held back a groan, silently praying Lin would have mercy on him yet knowing she would not. Yet to his utter astonishment, the dog only said, "He sure was, coolest cat I ever met. Brave, and strong, and dedicated as anything. And you know what?" He opened his eyes and saw her leaning down to wink at the boy. "He looked just like you, kid."

"Really?" Hu's eyes were wide. "You mean...I'm gonna get as big as Baba?"

"You just might. From what I recall, he grew real fast." She glanced sidelong at him. "Had a growth chart in the kitchen for him and everything...wonder if it's still there."

"It is," the master of the Jade Palace replied, his voice thick and a bit rough with emotion. After he'd reconciled with Shifu, while he was preparing meals for the convalescing Dragon Warrior, he'd made it a point to check. "In fact we kept using it, even after you...left."

"Really?" Lin echoed his son. "That musta been a sight to see, once you started really hitting your growth spurt."

"Actually it was." Tai Lung chuckled, softly at first and then louder. "Picture it: me, at age twelve or thirteen, already twice as tall as Shifu, only to grow several more inches every week. Him, having to stand on a chair to reach my head, or even climb up me and perch on my shoulder while he marked the jamb. Once I was three or four times his size, and he was actually dangling off of me, he decided to call it quits." He paused meaningfully. "Oddly enough, I wanted him to keep it up."

Hu collapsed in a fit of giggles. Huo, meanwhile, raised an eyebrow. "That's funny, I didn't think Yeh-Yeh even went in the kitchen any more. Mama says he was more than happy to stop cooking once Uncle Po moved into the palace—he was never very good at it."

"No surprise there," Lin murmured. "But I can sure tell you what he is good at—"

"Well luckily for you two," Tai Lung swiftly cut her off, "you won't ever have to sample one of his meals yourself. In fact you'll be having one of Mama's best recipes tonight. That is, if you pick up the right ingredients for Baba." He looked at his son. "A big sack of onions, a bushel of mushrooms, and as much bamboo as you can carry." He eyed his bright-eyed snow leopard girl. "Lemon pepper, mustard greens, and oyster sauce." He handed each of them another pouch of coins. "Now off with you!"

When both cubs had vanished into the marketplace again, Lin sat back in her chair in a huff. "What was that all about? If I didn't know better, I'd think ya didn't want me around your kids."

"Lin, you're smart, talented, funny, and reliable, and I love you," Tai Lung said with complete honesty. "But no, I don't want you around them any more than necessary. Not until I can be sure."

"Sure of what?" she snapped. "That I won't hurt 'em? C'mon, you gotta know me better than that, I love kids!" He gave her a sardonic look. "Okay, fine, maybe I didn't used ta, but I made an exception for you, and now for your kids. See, I have too changed!"

He nodded in acknowledgement. "Of course I didn't think that. It's just—"

"You're afraid I'm gonna spill the beans about ya, all your dirty secrets?" The canine snorted. "I thought about it, but I ain't gonna ruin this good thing you've got going here. I only told 'em good things about ya!"

"Yes, and I deeply appreciate that, believe me. But—"

"But what?" she demanded.

"But, I am concerned about your language around them."

Lin blinked. "What're ya talking about? My language is as damned good as anyone else's."

He shot her a glare. "I rest my case. I was subjected to your exceedingly foul mouth growing up, to my detriment I think. Not to mention a number of extremely inappropriate adult matters. My children will be spared."

Now it was her turn to give him a dirty look. "I seem to remember some rather nasty words falling from your rosebud lips a little while ago."

"Yes, but I know better than to use them around children," he shot back.

"And what's this about too much adult stuff? All my stories to you were age-appropriate and everything!" For a wonder she actually sounded offended.

"One word, Lin: grundle."

"Oh." Her ears flattened. "Okay, fine, I'll be more careful 'round 'em. But I mean really, there's gotta be other people who curse and make raunchy jokes near your cubs, even when they try not to. Shifu's no sweet angel, in case ya forgot. And I've heard tales about your Master Mantis."

Tai Lung sighed; she had a point, but this was one battle he was not going to lose. "Shifu may curse more than he used to—and that's all thanks to you, by the by—but not that much. And as for Mantis, we don't even let the twins stay with him very often. I am not having them corrupted."

"With you and the company you keep? Yeah, good luck with that." She snorted.

"Hope springs eternal."

"Bullsh*t does, you mean." Puffing on her pipe, Lin abruptly changed the subject—something he knew for a fact she did whenever she had lost an argument and knew it. "So, any particular reason you're sending your kids off to do all the legwork for ya? Other than so you can spend more time talking to yours truly, I mean."

Tai Lung took another sip of tea, noticed it had begun to grow cold, and unobtrusively warmed it again with his chi. "That's easy: I want my children to feel useful, that they can help their Baba with his chores instead of merely being dragged along for babysitting. Sending them to fetch items for me shows them I trust them, which means they'll be less likely to disobey if I tell them they can't have something." He paused. "It also keeps them out of trouble."

"Clever." He beamed, as that was rather high praise coming from Lin. "But what was all that about your wife doing the cooking tonight? You telling me you've turned Master Tigress, of all people, into an obedient housekeeper? Tai Lung, I'm disappointed in you."

The snow leopard's smile vanished, and he growled; now he was the offended one. "First off, gods no. She would have slit my throat, skinned me, worn my pelt as a trophy, and stuffed my belly with hot coals before she'd do such a thing—and that's just for starters."

Lin raised both eyebrows, clearly impressed. "Well, that's better. Otherwise I would've had to kill ya."

"And maybe at one time I might have wanted such a thing. Not any more. She is my mate, my equal, and in many ways my superior. I love her just the way she is and would never change that." Nodding firmly, he chuckled. "Besides, while she may be cooking tonight, the reason I'm watching the cubs and doing the shopping is so she can keep training in the kwoon. And anyway, we divide the duties."

"You do?" The dog blinked again. "You mean...?"

"That's right. She cooks, but so do I."

Lin started laughing again. "This just keeps getting richer all the time! One of the last things I told Shifu was that one of you needed to learn how to cook. You saying you both did?"

He grinned smugly, leaning back in his chair. "But I'm much better at it than he is. Thanks to Po, and my instructor Dalang."

Now her laughter turned into a cough as she choked on her tobacco smoke. Hurriedly he leaned forward to pound—gently—on her back, helping her clear out her lungs. When she could finally breathe properly again, she stared up at him with watering eyes. "D-dalang? Jiao Dalang?"

"Why, yes." Tai Lung frowned, a worry growing in the back of his mind; if Lin and Dalang were old friends, he had a strong feeling he would regret her return to the Valley for many reasons...and that he'd need to get her out of it again as soon as possible. "You know him?"

"Sort of. I ate at his restaurant once, when I was passing through Hebei." She shook her head. "What a small world...well in that case, I can believe ya got to be a real good cook. His food was, well, extraordinary, and just from that one meeting, I could tell he had a love for cooking that was almost holy. But I don't envy you learning in his kitchen." She tutted under her breath as she fished out her tobacco pouch for more fuel for her pipe. "I saw how he was running things with his staff there—that boy really needs to lighten up."

The spotted feline stared at her—not because he disagreed with her, in fact he thought her points were right on the money, but because of the sheer hypocrisy of that last statement. Leaning forward on one elbow, he pointed his finger accusingly at her. "That's hilarious, coming from you. I seem to recall you being rather harsh in your own kitchen. I suppose it takes one to know one?"

"That was only with Shifu, an entirely different matter," Lin said loftily. "Besides, consistency is a mark of a small mind."

"Is that bullsh*t I'm smelling?" Score another for my side!

She ignored that, of course. "Funny you should mention Dalang though, it's actually his father I knew better."

"General Shen?" Tai Lung furrowed his brow, momentarily forgetting the victory he'd been savoring.

"Oh, is he a general now? Always knew he'd claw his way up the ranks soon enough. He was a captain when I knew him."

"You knew a captain of the emperor's guard?" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Well, not like we moved in the same circles or something. He was in charge of the enforcers who were huntin' me down for speaking out against the emperor and the government. Relentless as hell and twice as stubborn. Had a stick up his ass like you wouldn't believe, way bigger than Shifu's. And between you and me, that's saying something, the gerbil had such a tight—"

"Ugh! " Tai Lung clapped his paws over his ears. "Please, in the name of decency—"

But she went right on anyway. "Decency, what's that? Anyway, I got him to loosen right up, though. You know me and my charming ways. And then I was the one loosening up, if you know what I mean." She waggled her eyebrows.

The snow leopard's jaw dropped; he'd never felt so scandalized, not since that night sorting through Oogway's room. Even Mantis at his worst and De's assignations couldn't top this. "Are you seriously telling me...?"

"Yup, yup." Lin grinned and stretched her arms over her head, making her joints pop gruesomely. "I banged him, he banged me...and lemme tell ya, I thought Bengals were something, but you ain't truly lived 'til you've done it with an Amur. Hoo-boy! Epic! " She winked bawdily. "And that's how I got out of China and got him off my trail. He was glad to look the other way, after I was through riding him."

Tai Lung stared at her in abject horror, jaw still hanging, paws spread limply on the table before him, his whole form sagging. Is this what a broken brain feels like? He didn't know which disturbed him more—the idea of Lin in a sexual situation at all, the sheer impossibility of the size difference, or the fact she'd used such a way to cheat the system and evade capture and execution. All he knew was, he was speechless.

After several long moments during which the dog gazed at him with a bland, beatific expression, Lin finally burst out laughing yet again, slapped her leg, and pointed at him. "Hah! Had ya goin' there, didn't I? Oh God, that was priceless! I wish you could've seen your face fall off the front of your head like that...you are so gullible!"

With a low moan he fell forward on his arms, burying his face in his paws. Why did I ever let this woman beat me with a spoon?

Luckily for him, at that moment Hu and Huo reappeared, laden down with their new burden of produce and spices. Desperately thanking the gods and Oogway alike, he spent a number of minutes meticulously going through their purchases, stowing them in the proper baskets and pouches, and praising the strength and smarts of his cubs in equal measure. Only when he had fished out more yuan and sent them off to pick up asparagus, oranges, basil, and tofu did he dare to turn back to Lin.

Gathering his scattered wits, he did the only thing he could think of to expunge those images from his mind and get her mind out of the gutter—ask a serious question. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you. Something very important."

"And that would be?" She was still grinning openly.

He leaned forward, intent. "When we met on that mountain, was that all chance? Did you just happen to be heading to Wei-Shan's the same time I was returning to the Valley, or did you plan the whole thing?"

Lin sighed, inhaled deeply from her pipe, coughed, and then looked him straight in the eye. "Yeah, I did. But you know why? I had no way of knowing you were gonna escape, of course. I was traveling that way...because I was coming to visit ya. After I found out from Chen—the artist, not the emperor—where you were being held, and that nobody had been to see ya, or ever even bothered to, I knew I had to come.

"Because no matter what you'd done and why, it wasn't right you be all shut up in the dark like that. It was stupid, and cruel, and horrible that Shifu and Oogway never came to see ya. That was no way for them to treat ya, especially if they wanted ya to change your tune and be a good guy again. I knew ya wouldn't be happy to see me, after how I left and all...but I figured even one familiar face, one ya knew used to care, would be better than nothing."

It was the last thing he'd expected from her—a long speech, and one so heartfelt and genuine. And it did make up, even if only a little, for the pain of those long years of abandonment, even for some of the loneliness and torture of his confinement. Swallowing hard against a large lump in his throat, he rumbled softly. "Thank you. I...I've come to terms with why they didn't visit me, I understand it now. To an extent I brought it on myself—rampaging like that, then never showing any sign of repentance. I forgave them. But...I appreciate what you tried to do all the same."

"That's good to hear, Tai Lung." She blew a smoke-ring, then added, "Now stop tearing up. You're a grown man."

Hurriedly he wiped away the tears that had formed, then crossed his arms huffily. "If you'd rather I be a heartless monster..."

"Naw, of course not, I was only teasing ya." Lin smiled. "Actually, I'm glad ya didn't mean up too much."

"I meaned up enough," he murmured. He didn't know if she'd heard him.

"Now, if only that blunderbuss had let ya test his rules and boundaries more often," the dog added caustically, "maybe ya wouldn't have rampaged."

"Maybe if you'd been here I wouldn't have anyway." Tai Lung couldn't keep the accusing note out of his voice.

Lin rolled her eyes. "Get bent. Don't blame your own mistakes on me, you're the one who flipped. I told ya you can't always get what you want." She shrugged. "Besides, between my attitude toward authority and my chaotic personality, I woulda been a bad role model for ya anyway."

She had a very good point. "Fine. But I still wish you'd been here, regardless."

The dog smiled at him, and he saw that beneath her thick fur, she was actually blushing. "That's sweet, but you gotta be independent. Don't blame me, but also don't expect me to do everything for ya. Learn and do it yourself." It was amazing how reasonable and wise she could sound, when she wasn't being deliberately insensitive, antagonizing, or perverted.

"Tell me something I don't know." He felt like he was seven years old again.

"No thanks, I don't got all day to gab with ya."

Tai Lung stared at her, a smoldering fury starting to grow inside him as he realized what exactly she was implying with that statement. Next thing I know, she'll be complimenting the twins' intelligence and saying they must get it from their mother! But he forced his anger down and cast his mind back to what they'd been discussing before she'd led him on about Dalang's father—namely, that he still didn't know how or if she'd escaped the warrant against her. "Why is that? Is there somewhere you have to be? One brief stop here before you go gallivanting off again?" He allowed a bit of concern to bleed into his voice. "Or are you still wanted by the law?"

Lin shook her head. "Nah, Wei-Shan helped me get that straightened out. The emperor agreed to leave me in peace, since I'm just an old woman who won't be doing any more rabble-rousing, and I agreed not to speak out against the government any more. And why would I?" She leaned back in her chair.

"Most of the stuff I had issues with was done by his father, and he's phased a lotta that out. He was after me 'cause I was stirring up trouble when he was trying to make things peaceful and prosperous for everyone—in fact he agreed with me on most of what I was saying, and he's been carrying out true justice and being fair to the lower classes all that time I was gone from China. I don't like the Imperial system, but if you're gonna have one, the least you can do is have a good emperor. And Chen's an okay guy."

She paused, then grinned slyly at him. "Not to mention, he's a real stud. Bigger than Shen, and I bet that has his panties in a real twist."

A pause; then Tai Lung groaned again...but he also had to laugh. "You're incorrigible."

"Thank you. Now, don't worry," Lin reassured him, reaching across to pat his paw. "I bet you're bigger than both of them put together."

"Well, I don't like to brag..." he lied...then held his paws up the requisite distance apart.

Lin gasped. "See, I told Shifu you knew what to do with your—"

"You did not!" He felt his cheeks go crimson.

"I most certainly did. He was too much of a prude to listen, of course, but I told him how precocious you were. Why I bet when you finally got to use it, you were a real—"

At that moment Hu reappeared again. "What're you talking about now?" the tiger cub asked curiously as he set down the basket of oranges and bundle of asparagus. "Still goin' on about how big Baba is?" If he'd been drinking, Tai Lung would have choked on his tea.

"Something like that," Lin replied, trying very hard not to laugh. "Actually, more like how much he's changed and all that."

"Speaking of change, you should have just enough left to pick up some broccoli and peas. After you and your sister get back, we can go to the next place on our list." He was amazed at how normal his voice sounded.

Once his son had bounded off again, and Tai Lung had arranged all the various goods in different baskets and sacks so that he could more readily carry them for the return trip, he glanced at Lin pointedly. "I thought you said I hadn't changed."

"Oh, you've definitely changed." When he gave her a confused look, she added, "I meant your eyes. They're a lot more gold than they used to be." He flattened his ears, but he supposed he should be grateful she wasn't going on about his moustache or his age again. But then she spoke again and surprised him. "And I see something different in 'em. There was all that rage and revenge in 'em before, when you wanted that scroll so bad, but now...I dunno. You look happy, Tai Lung. Happier even than when you were a cub, I mean. I like it."

Slowly he drained the last of his tea, set the cup down on the saucer, and smiled at her softly. "I am. I finally have everything I want, everything I need. It wasn't what I thought...but it is right, and good. I never realized how precious an ordinary life can be."

Lin considered that, drawing deeply from her pipe, while Tai Lung reflected that perhaps he'd been wrong to be so worried about her—for no matter how deviant and inappropriate her comments, she'd always cut herself off whenever Hu or Huo appeared, keeping their young minds from being overwhelmed too soon. Then she spoke again. "You really love your kids, don'tcha?"

"Of course I do, they mean everything to me." He smiled slowly. "What can I say, you showed me how important it is to nurture seeds. It took me over twenty years, but I've finally learned to do it."

"Who woulda guessed, huh? But I'm proud of ya, ya big galoot. Ya make a real fine dad."

"Thank you, but I also meant that literally. After I defeated Chao, one of the things I did while healing was replanting our old garden. It's flourishing quite well." Nothing wrong with growing things, he thought defensively, at the part of himself that still wanted to write the whole thing off as something a true man would never do. As Shifu said...I've done enough destroying. Time to plant and create.

Lin was smiling warmly at him again. "Now that's the Tai Lung I knew."

"Well, they do say gardening is soothing and therapeutic. And Shifu basically ordered me to take up a hobby to help me relax that didn't involve having to constantly pay for repairs to the kwoon."

She smirked, a bit maliciously. "He actually said that? The slave-driver master of kung fu? I guess things have changed more around here than I ever thought possible." As the last of her tobacco burned out, she tapped the leavings from the pipe and slipped it back into her sleeve. "So, what now?"

He paused, having run out of things to talk about—and smiled broadly at her. "Roll in the mud and beat each other with sticks?"

Once again, Lin burst out laughing, and this time it was one of the best sounds he'd ever heard.