Partner is upset I want to take maternity leave and expects me to continue paying my own way. - May 2025 Babies | Forums | What to Expect | Page 5 (2024)

He needs to give his head a shake.. he is the selfish one, not you, he is 110% in the wrong, not you. I can’t say anymore about this without being very mean towards your husband, I’m 17 weeks with twins and I stay home with both of our toddlers while my husband goes makes $60k a year, it’s VERY doable.

Good luck to you

Marriage or not, you are partners, not housemates - and he is treating you as a housemate.

you should submit this to Nick Viall’s podcast “Ask Nick”

Asknick@theviallfiles.com

He will give you the best advice

You are not overreacting nor being selfish. I read a few of the other comments, one of them being about your finances being separate and him saying that it is "his money". Also, you mentioned he doesn't want a traditional marriage because of the government. I call total BS on that. My husband didn't want to get married either ( or so he thought). When him and I first started dating he told me that he was single for a long time, by choice and didn't think marriage or children were for him. Well, I stopped birth control in April and we started planning our wedding in June. We set our date and had everything planned for our wedding on November 2nd and on September 20th , I found out I was pregnant. Both of the things he never wanted before, but ended up wanting both. He was literally a single man for most of his adulthood, his longest relationship was when he was a teenager but he not only adjusted to sharing financial responsibility with me when he moved into my home, he also took on 2 teenagers that were not his. I don't get paid maternity leave and while we need both of our incomes to live comfortably, he is not the least bit concerned about picking up the slack when I am off work recovering from the birth of our child. We have considered our incomes, our money since the moment we moved in together. He should care enough about your health and the health of your child more than money. As for the marriage thing, I agree with a previous post that men use that as an excuse. I agree whole heartedly in the saying "If he wanted to, he would."

Try therapy, see if that helps. Tell him you will stay with a family member that is willing to help you financially while you are on leave. If he cares enough about being with you, he will forgo his "my money" thoughts and choose to have you there with him instead of elsewhere.

Best of luck momma. I pray you have a healthy pregnancy and birth.

I’m so sorry what an awful position to be in. ��

From a leave work/work standpoint do you have short term disability? If yes, and your doctor is saying you are unable to work due to a medical condition/disability I would consider filing a claim. Or you may have state programs available! Check with Human Resources to see if you have some options for income replacement.